Despite the fact that my internet was down way more than it was up this past week (an issue I’ll have to rant about in a future post), I still had some time to browse the web and see what was new and exciting in the world of funny websites. And boy, did I ever hit the jackpot this time around. It started with an innocent enough looking link in a thread on a message board: The Alot is Better Than You at Everything. Intrigued–mostly by the strange use of “a lot” put together in one word and used in a strange context–I clicked. Once the page loaded, I noticed the funny image just below the first paragraph. I looked at the image and got confused, then read the first paragraph and understood clearly:

As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms. When someone types out “u” instead of “you,” instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable. If I only had one finger on each hand, I’d leave out unnecessary letters too!

Sure enough, the drawing depicted a person suffering from that very affliction. “This is gonna be good,” I thought to myself. Sure enough, it was. Little did I know, it would soon go from good to great:

But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering.  It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase “a lot” and condense it down into one word, because when someone says “alot,” this is what I imagine:
[awesome image snipped]
The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people’s grammar.  It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I’d normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.

YES. Seriously, folks, the pictures seal the deal and make it utterly hilarious. You must go and read that original post, RIGHT NOW, and then come back to keep reading this. I’ll wait here. Seriously, click that link above. What? What do you mean you don’t see it? Do I have to do everything for you guys?!

Now, if you enjoyed that, keep reading this post for more comedy gold. If you didn’t, then I want to know what is wrong with you…

So, now that I knew it was going to be a very funny site, I clicked the header image and went back to the front page. This is what I was greeted with:

I woke up really early on Wednesday morning for no reason.  In retrospect, I can see it was probably my body’s way of telling me that I might die later that day, so I better get the hell up and start enjoying the shit out of life.

My life that morning was not particularly enjoyable. I felt like my internal organs had been punched by someone who is really enthusiastic about punching and therefore punches a lot.  In fact, they love punching so much that when they finished punching my internal organs, they moved on to punching my skin and all my muscles and also my eyes.

I ended up spending nearly the entire day reading this blog. I got back to about September and finally quit, but it was all hilarious. The recent posts were more awesome, given that they were accompanied with pictures that made the post come together. A perfect example of this can be found in the post entitled “Animals“. I also really enjoyed the “Spaghatta Nadle” series of posts, but for some reason, not everyone seems to get them. I don’t see how this is possible, but I digress.

Look, the whole point of this post can be condensed down into this: There’s this awesome site I stumbled upon called Hyperbole and a Half. It’s this awesome blog with hilarious stories, comics, and drawings. Seriously, it’s awesome. Picture Chuck Norris in a fight with a velociraptor, and Chuck Norris is winning (obviously). Suddenly, the velociraptor grabs a gun that it learned to use, like in the plot to Jurassic Park IV. For a split second, all hope is lost, but then Chuck Norris, with his lightning fast reflexes, produces a super-heavy-duty chainsaw from his beard. He chops the gun in half, chops the velociraptor in half, and stands victoriously on top of the carcass of his foe. Are you picturing that? You know how awesome that is? This blog is more awesome than that.

Did I just blow your mind, or what?